Saturday, May 30, 2009

Grammatical Erotica, Part IV

Our writing style should vary according to mood, context, and subject just as our style of lovemaking should vary.

Just as there are times and places—-and, I hope, willing partners--for hot, quick, fast, spontaneous combustion sex, there are times and places for short, simple prose. OMG, yes: It’s morning. I’m half-sleep. I’m hard. Kiss me awake. Squeeze my balls. Mount me quick, and fuck me fast and furious, Hendrix riffing on the guitar.

But we all know there are also times and places for long, complex sentences and for our love supreme: the extensive, almost never ending lovemaking of slow hands and languorous kisses....of intimate talk and the arousal of all the senses....the lovemaking that begins early in the evening, long before a bedroom is entered, with a man looking a woman in the eye and listening to her carefully through the dinner he’s prepared for her....and ends with her riding him cowgirl into the sunrise of a new morning, taking him as slowly as the dawn coming up.

The sex between these lovers, when the clothes finally come off, takes on the trajectory of a sentence composed by Proust or Faulkner in all of its sinuous rhythms and with all of its twists and turns: His initial kiss, like a startling metaphor in the opening phrase, captures her attention and sets a tone, and his next kisses trace all along the contours of her body, pausing in places, on one nipple and then the other, like a sentence held up for a pause by a comma, and then the woman is softened and pulled apart by the touches down there, her loins opened, her lower lips parted, an open parentheses calling out for an exclamation point inside of it (!).

Now the lovemaking becomes all Hemingway. No flowery prose. Just hard pounding sentences. One after the other. Fast strokes of the pen. Action verbs. Prose stripped naked. Nothing cute. Sentences pounded out on the typewriter like fucking a woman doggie style. Drive each sentence home. Get to the point. Make her quiver. Fuck her with exclamation points!!! You've got her panting now. Short breaths. Shorter words. Do it to me. More. Don't stop. Yes. Yes. Yes. Ohh. Oh! O!!!.

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